BFF

Can you imagine your life without your best friend? I cant. I had a thing a couple of weeks back where, while waiting for some biopsy results, it could have been a posibility, it didnt bare thinking about. Every time the thought crossed my mind it was shoved aside as feeling so totally wrong that I felt that the results would be good. Thank all the gods they were all negative results, negative in the best way possible that is.
Our Best friends
the ones who laugh with us and cry with us, the ones who hold us while we fall apart and shelter us when we are so vulnerable.
The ones we share secrets with, who dont judge us for what we say and who we are or what we do.
BF's, the ones who understand and if they dont they just accept anyway.
Best Friends, the ones we go to in the middle of the night because they called us.
the ones we can disagree with without it becoming an arguement.
The ones we can party hard with and share the agony of the next day hangover.
The ones we eat popcorn and icecream with and sing out loud at concerts with, still.
Best friends, just about the closest thing to unconditional love you will ever get from another human being.

I love my best friend, she has enriched my life for over 33 years and we plan on carrying this on for many years more.

To my bestest,

Loved you then.
Love you still.
Always have.
Always will.

Romancing the Stone- because maybe I am a whingy bitch!

I dont think I am a selfish person, maybe I am, maybe I am a bit self centred who knows? Tomorrow is Valentines day and I rushed home from work to bake DG a big batch of shortbread which he loves, cutting it all out into heart shapes, not an expensive gift but one I thought was given some thought. Shortbread in the oven baking and I am making a lasangne ready to put in the oven when the shortbread comes out when the phone rings and it's DG. Pleasantries exchanged, he launches in to saying, ahhh 2 things, 1 if Cory (his son) wants to attend this party next saturday night with Ben, I will take them both and pick them up the next morning"....thats fine I am more than happy with that but then number 2 strikes.

" I havent done anything for you for Valentines day, I dont do Valentines day and all that palava. Alan at work has carved this lovely wooden rose for Fiona his girlfriend, he's made a really nice job of it and last year he took her to the beach first thing in the am with a picnic breakfast to watch the sun rise. Alan is good at thinking of things like that but I am not really bothered"

It kinda bit me a little because at Christmas he informed me he wasnt into Christmas and never bothered with buying Christmas presents for anyone. In Sept on our anniversary I suggested we go somewhere for dinner and got, "I dont really do anniversaries" Around my birthday in August he kept trying to buy me something if we were out saying "I dont do birthdays but if you want I will buy that for you and it can be an early birthday present or something"

Now, I am sorry if I sound mean and shallow but I would like to get something on my birthday thats a surprise, that has been chosen for me. I have gone 14 years without a birthday present or a christmas present unless I bought something for myself. At Christmas when I got the "I dont really do Christmas" speal I just said "Well it's not just all about you is it."

Last year DG came out and we went and had Pizza on the beach but it was because he had been told he had to do something for me by his sister apparently.

I am dissapointed, I like surprises of the good kind, not expensive but effort made with some thought, even effort made with minimal thought would be something. So now I am wondering do I say anything or do I just shut up and not be so much of a moo.

I know its all commercial gobble but it makes you feel special if some small token effort is made doesnt it. I know its not the be all end all, but honestly I am wondering what special occasion he actually does mark if any at all. It's dissapointing to think birthdays, anniversaries, christmases, special occasions, etc will be non events from now on.

Oh add Easter to that list too. :-S

PS yes I did get a lovely big bunch of flowers on my birthday which made my day and was a huge surprise, but then got told his sister had threatened him with physical pain if he didnt at least get me flowers for my birthday so again it wasnt his idea he had to be forced into the gesture.

A long time ago when the earth was green.

Belated Happy New Year to anyone who is reading this.
When I find myself in a better head space I will blog more but right now positivity eludes me so I will not write negatively.

Its a flower on one of my Cactii