It's been some time since I last wrote and it is not because nothing has been going on, in reality many things have happened in the last few months and at times I have started to write but then I have decided not to hit the publish button. Sometimes I worry that I sound like a big old disaster area as all these things have happened to me over the past year and they seem at times so negative. I think of myself as a positive person but when someone commented about hiding the sharp knives from me the other week after having such a bad run of things lately it made me wonder how others perceive me. I write to get things out of my head sometimes and I value the comments that come back to me as they always cheer or give me a different viewpoint to consider. So I will write and while what you may read might make you think oh ffs this person is like a walking doom cloud, remember I dont write it that way, I am not down, I just share the reality of what happens. It's not all bad stuff I have a lot of really great stuff too. So here goes, but remember dont cry for me Argentina.
My one listed follower on this blog is my Aunty Sue, after a family issue when my dad died 26 years ago I never saw dads brother and his wife (sue) for 20 years although my sisters did. It transpired a few years ago that my younger sister , bless her heart, built a bridge and I was reunited with my all time fav uncle of my childhood and his wife. Sue and I became fast friends and emailed several times a day, I went on dates and she waited eagerly for updates and we giggled like schoolgirls over it even though she was 15 years my senior. Sue and Jim have been a huge part of my life in the last 4 years I saw them several times a week, went there for xmas and birthdays and dinners all the time. In June this year, My darling Aunty Sue was diagnosed with lung cancer, she had not smoked for over 25 years but there it was, it only took 3 months to consume her and she died in September. I miss her so very dearly but I am extremely happy I got the 4 years with her before this happened. It was thanks to Suzy in part that I went on the second and third date with Dynamo Guy, she told me even though he wasnt what I normally was attracted too to persist because he sounded like a nice guy. Thank you Sue, I am so glad I listened.
Ben my darling son, you frustrate the hell out of me, since your 18 birthday you have become a pain in the arse even if I love you beyond measure. 18 means you can be tried as an adult if you find yourself in court and that you can buy alcohol and go to bars, it does not mean you can stop using manners and treating others with courtesy and respect, that is a lifelong thing ok? Dont waste your life, make it count, it's ok to live in the here and now but always have the future in mind and pay heed to where you want that future to take you and what you need to do to make it happen. Your life is yours, dont burn bridges, treat people with respect, be aware of your shortcomings and work to make them not so short. Dreams dont just happen, work to make them happen for you.
And to the now...... I was made redundant again, well almost I resigned before it happened because I have found a new job. Earlier this year it gutted me to be made redundant but I was lucky enough to land on my feet with not only 3 months salary payout but a job to walk into a week later. It was a casual contract, but with the hope something permanent would come along, there were plans....they never worked out. The training institute I have been working at has undergone a major restructure and my job was in jeopardy, so I started looking. I wanted something close to home again, for me this means 30 min drive because I am a fringe dweller, outer fringes. I decided to step back from the corporate world and go low key again, drop in salary but more than my casual contract gave me. I have now a job as an office manager for an engineering firm 30 mins from home. Its a smaller company owned and operated by two directors from big engineering backgrounds who decided to get together and have their own business. Its building up steadily, the books show either level or increase in business during the last 5 years, a good sign in a recession. It seems low key and varied and busy, my kind of space. I start on November 7 which is really good because I have damaged my lower back and the Dr has put me off work for 2 weeks with instructions to either lay flat, or stand with some walking. I am not to sit or drive or lift or carry or bend or stretch or do anything much for two weeks.....bored already on day 3. Of course this means no money coming in for at least 2 weeks but I have my stash from my payout which will keep me covered for now. My new job I get paid monthly which kinda sucks cause I am used to fortnightly but I can adjust. If nothing else I am an adjustable doll. Just like Barbie with bendable arms and legs only without the hourglass figure and disproportionate legs.
And lastly on September 1 a year ago I met Dynamo Guy for a coffee for the first time. So it has now been over a year and he is still around, some kinda record for me. He has been my rock and my anchor and the oil on stormy waters. He is one of the best. I hope he sticks around cause I like the way things are and the fun we have together. Its not been easy the last few months and he has had to do a bit of propping up emotionally but he has done it superbly and now its onwards and upwards into a bright new day.
So ends my mini novel of doom and gloom.
Now I am going to rise slowly from my supine position and go in search of cheese and crackers. :)
