When your heart bleeds for your children.

Where I live in Beachlands, it's a small coastal community. Our kids all went to school together and know each other. They go to the same parties now they are teens and play in the same sports teams.

This past weekend there was a car accident out our way involving two 18 year old boys, one didnt survive. He wasnt wearing a seatbelt and for some inexplicable reason they didnt have their headlights on even though it was 12.30am at night. Playing silly buggars my dad would have said. The result of this and other factors I am sure that will come to light is that the car met a tree at speed not even 3 kms from home.

Watching your child grieve for a friend is a hard thing to do. My parents went through it when my best friend was hit by a car crossing the road on her way home from work when I was 16 and now I understand their helplessness.

Watching Ben swing from anger, to disbelief, to deep sadness and a collage of other emotions is hard, he lost his appetite, the boys all came together and just sat staring at the ground saying very little, they had nothing to say as they each struggled with coming to terms with it. Ben is so angry at his mates for being so dumb, and struggles to make sense of it all. He worries about the driver who is quite likely facing jail time because of the accident. I know this boy well, he was a regular at our home and one of the boys who always calls me Mum. He's a polite boy, quietly spoken, who always came and had a chat with me when he came to visit Ben, a good kid essentially, but one who has done something so incredibly silly and misguided in the teenagers belief of being invincible. He doesnt belong in jail I feel, but how do you make reparation for such as this?

I worry about Ben when he is out with mates, they have a sober driver system and they stick to it, hopefully they will continue to stick to it. I have told Ben that if ever he is out and the sober driver drinks, he is to ring me, no matter what the time is or where they are and I will come and pick them up and get them all home. It's the same thing my parents said to me as a teenager and I understand why they felt this way having a teenager of my own now.

It's true you dont sleep until they are home safely.

Two Headed Bitch Troll from Hell with Fish.

Ok so this was me on Saturday last. I dont know if it was PMS or what but I was a total cow and I would have left me standing on the side of the road outside the builders yard which was a 30 minute drive from my place. DG however did not, although I think he wondered what the hell had hit him at times during the day. I was short tempered and snappy and just a total troll.

I wanted to get things done and get home, I had borrowed a friends ute to pick some building stuff up and was concious I shouldnt be too long but I kept getting sidetracked either by me or DG but mostly me and then I got grumpy with me about it and he who was there had to weather the storm. It is not often I get like this but sometimes, I just want to chew the head of a bird and yell at everyone around me.

Also I dont like the way DG organised the fish tank however I bit my tongue and let him do it as I had been so mean and bossy and do it my way!!! all day I thought I should really let the poor bastard cop a break you know?

I had fish in a little tank in the kitchen but got a second hand tank off trademe, a NZ Auction site a bit like ebay. So Saturday we decided to get another couple of fish to keep the biggest one company. DG suggested it needed more plants as it was looking sparse after the relocation. So I got plants and driftwood and extra fish and then we went home and I sat quietly by while he tried to artistically landscape the new tank. I didnt like it and I thought about rearranging it after he left on Sunday night but decided not to be so petty and to learn to compromise after doing things my way for, oh the last 14 or so years.

So as you can see my inner bitch is still lurking dangerously close to the surface. Yes I am due and no I am not normally this much of a moo about it.

Sunday I played nice all day and made DG coffee and held bits of cupboard while he assembled. We sent the boys off to the local golf resort to play tennis and swim and work out at the gym so they werent bugging us by lying in Ben's room playing on the PS3 when they could be helping outside which would have most certainly made me get grumpy with Ben.

Nice me has gone on vacation it would seem and Poison Ivy me has taken up residence with barely concealed inner bitchiness struggling to surface.
I really dont like myself when I get like this and dont want to be friends with me somedays.

Doughies- Go Bettys Kitchen.

Ok today the recipe is not so much from the excesses of my garden, well not at all really.

Today I am going to share a recipe for doughies or fried bread. I know it sounds hideously gross and dripping with oil and fatness but it really isnt and makes for a yummy dessert.

This is dead easy to make and a great pudding. (Littlies love them to munch on)

I serve it with Golden Syrup and either icecream or whipped cream.

Doughies.
2 Cups Flour
2 Teaspoons Baking Powder
1/2 Teaspoon of salt.
Warm water. (Add 1/2 a cup to start. If you make it too soft just add a handful of flour to bind it again)

Mix the flour , baking powder and salt with enough warm water to make a soft dough. Knead lightly and then let sit for about 30 mins.

In a medium saucepan place about 2 inches of vegetable oil or rice bran oil.
Heat until a small piece or ordinary bread dropped into the oils starts browning.

Cut off 1 inch bits of the dough and flatten with fingers to about 1 cm disk.
Place into the hot oil and cook turning when light golden colour. (They will puff up)

Remove when cooked and place on draining paper.

When cooked place into dessert plates drizzle over golden Syrup and spoon on whipped cream or icecream.
Alternatively have syrup and cream in separate dishes and let people dip their doughies into each before popping into le bouche.

These are almost like a doughnut type of thing so you can do the sugar and cinnamon or whatever type of finishing you would like.

Cooks Note:
I am going to try making these and putting a dollop of jam into the flattened disk and folding it over and pinching together and cooking so they hopefully have a jammy filling in the middle. (Lemon Honey might be a bit nice in the middle too)

Enjoy and once again let me know if you try the recipes I post and what you think.