When your heart bleeds for your children.

Where I live in Beachlands, it's a small coastal community. Our kids all went to school together and know each other. They go to the same parties now they are teens and play in the same sports teams.

This past weekend there was a car accident out our way involving two 18 year old boys, one didnt survive. He wasnt wearing a seatbelt and for some inexplicable reason they didnt have their headlights on even though it was 12.30am at night. Playing silly buggars my dad would have said. The result of this and other factors I am sure that will come to light is that the car met a tree at speed not even 3 kms from home.

Watching your child grieve for a friend is a hard thing to do. My parents went through it when my best friend was hit by a car crossing the road on her way home from work when I was 16 and now I understand their helplessness.

Watching Ben swing from anger, to disbelief, to deep sadness and a collage of other emotions is hard, he lost his appetite, the boys all came together and just sat staring at the ground saying very little, they had nothing to say as they each struggled with coming to terms with it. Ben is so angry at his mates for being so dumb, and struggles to make sense of it all. He worries about the driver who is quite likely facing jail time because of the accident. I know this boy well, he was a regular at our home and one of the boys who always calls me Mum. He's a polite boy, quietly spoken, who always came and had a chat with me when he came to visit Ben, a good kid essentially, but one who has done something so incredibly silly and misguided in the teenagers belief of being invincible. He doesnt belong in jail I feel, but how do you make reparation for such as this?

I worry about Ben when he is out with mates, they have a sober driver system and they stick to it, hopefully they will continue to stick to it. I have told Ben that if ever he is out and the sober driver drinks, he is to ring me, no matter what the time is or where they are and I will come and pick them up and get them all home. It's the same thing my parents said to me as a teenager and I understand why they felt this way having a teenager of my own now.

It's true you dont sleep until they are home safely.