Ok so since my last post I have been busy busy, trying to get a reasearch paper done and my CEO resigned suddenly and I got given some extra tasks as a result of the job reviews of which the one actual work friend I was close to here at work, took offence and felt that as she had the title manager they should have come to her and so I got dumped on and informed from now on she would only converse with me as a professional and collegue and no longer as a friend. Ouch!!
I was gobsmacked and more than a little dissapointed by her attitude. I can understand she is unhappy, she is very much a status person and maybe felt that this impinged on her status as several of the tasks she would be under my delegation, but to haul me into a room and toss her toys out of the cot at me and then say the friendship is over 2 seconds after giving me a t-shirt she brought me back from San Fransico (she had just spent a month travelling overseas with her partner) I feel is a bit raw.
Do I politely giver her back the T-shirt and say that I cannot accept it as I feel it has not been given with the same intent it was bought for me in light of her discussion with me yesterday?
Or do I just shove it in the bottom drawer here at work , because I know that I will never wear it now. To me it symbolises the dissolving of what I considered a friendship.
I wouldn't give it back, even though I might want to in an effort to make her feel bad. But she's already feeling bad. She's insecure and she's hurt and she's punishing you for something beyond your control. Personally, if the friendship were worth it to me, I might give it a bit of time and then talk to her about it. It has nothing to do with you and everything to do with her handling the situation badly.
ReplyDeleteLisa's advice is great. I recently had a friend completely misinterpret my action and ask for "a break" from the friendship. I thought she was being silly and was hurt and angered by that, but I simply wrote her a heartfelt apology that I made her feel that way - even though I hadn't done anything wrong. It was the perfect response. She realized she was over-reacting due to her own stress, apologized to me and we rescued the friendship.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry you are feeling this pain. If it doesn't end well, you might say it wasn't a friendship worth saving. But that doesn't make it sting any less.